Did you know I've changed a lot?
Crazy, right? I dunno how, but I did.
I have amazing friends, and I'm a much better and happier person.
I like myself. I like life. I'm happy.
But have you ever had that sick feeling in your stomach?
I feel deleted.
Weird. I know, but I don't really care.

I've been writing again. I wrote a song the other day that ended up being for a friend of mine. She needed it. I don't like it so much anymore, but she loves it, so that's good I guess. I'm still as critical as ever of my work.
Friday I sang my favorite song in front of a crowd on stage. Willingly put myself in that situation too. It was an incredible feeling. Not sure how to describe it.
This year has been crazy, but a hell of a lot of fun too.
I'm sad so many people are leaving. But they're not really leaving. Just going to different places. I can still talk to them.

I've discovered I may or may not have some weird type of eating disorder. I've lost a lot of weight and I couldn't figure out why. I eat when I'm hungry and I eat till I'm full. But I realized I'm never hungry. When I eat what I figured out wasn't a lot, I feel sick. I'm not really sure what's up with that, but I realized I have a problem and I'm getting it fixed.

I don't trust people very well, but I forgive too easily. I don't depend on anyone though. I do things for myself. It's good. My friends worry about me a lot though when something's wrong. But things aren't wrong a lot anymore.

Today, a really good friend of mine is leaving and I won't see him for a very long time. I'm going to miss him a lot and I'll hardly be able to talk to him. But I'm partying with him tonight and it's going to be great. I'm going to cry, and I don't care.

Life is crazy, but it's the best time of my life. And I'm not letting it go.

And a message for you, if you read this, and you know who you are. I'm sorry things worked like they did and I'm sorry you feel guilty. You should. But I forgive you and I'm sorry for everything I've done. I hope you can forgive me. I wish we could be friends, but I don't know if you can do that. Don't let me get my hopes up again, 'cause that hurts. I don't ever want you like I had you before, but you were the best friend I ever had, and I wouldn't mind having a friend like you again. If not, it's okay. But I'm not going to disappear forever. We may never talk again, if that's what you want, but I'll never forget you. If I do never speak to you again, I wish you the best of luck in life, and I still think you'll amount to all the things you want to. You have the drive.

Cheers,
Katie